The Quote Marshal

JAAL PATH LABS : RAMJAS REPORT

Let’s investigate how ‘anti-national’ Ramjas students or professors were in their expression, on the patriotic scale of Dr.Dictator, and how violating it is of the constitution.

Well, let’s start with translating Azadi, and we are going to use Google Translate for the same.

So, we found out through extreme difficulty that it means ‘Freedom’, ah what a rebellious word.

Let’s find out what the evil term means.

I tried to view the above from various sources, under UV, Infrared, Sodium, lamps and failed to find, disintegration as a meaning, or one which describes it as violent use of force to disintegrate a country. However, I am not sure if there’s a parallel dimension out there which can suddenly change the definition if used by another person.

So ‘Meethi, Meethi, Azaadi’ or ‘Pyaari, Pyaari, Azaadi’ in the words of Dr. Mukul Mangalik translates to ‘Sweet, sweet, freedom’ which I feel is extremely seditious and thus can be very offending isn’t it? Because a little conference, organized by absolutely apolitical youngsters, who just wanted a discussion was brought to a still by stone pelting, kicking, and lashing. How dare they ask for freedom in a free country? We surely have the right to stone these youngsters till death if they invite a person like Umar Khalid to the discussion. For, the moment Umar speaks, every copy of the Indian constitution on this planet will teleport to some unexplored dimension in the universe and everything he says will magically appear in a book published by God, with new commandments for all of us to follow. Seriously, all those professors, students, certainly deserve death, rape threats! How do we know there will not be an election for THE FOUR HORSEMEN after the seminar? Especially, after Umar will be chosen as the new God?

Or we can say, Umar Khalid, is basically ‘Tumour Khalid’ and he will replicate himself like Hugo Weaving did in the Matrix trilogy?

Don’t get me wrong people, we in no way endorse Umar’s ideology, and all he was intended to do, to discuss the issues regarding the Adivasis of Bastar.

So what does ‘Bastar mange Azadi’ mean?

Bastar wants freedom! Freedom what? It is already free! It means you can find Plato reading his Utopia there, Right? And same with Kashmir? You know what’s common?  They were talking about human rights, while this term might sound new to you, you can find it in the constitution. This is rebellious right? How dare we ask you to heed to the plight of Adivasis or the rights of people denied due to AFSPA? In fact, any time we hear Azadi at home we should expect the same.

Mind you, I didn’t have ‘The Communist Manifesto’ for breakfast, neither do we at The Quote Marshal believe in overtly leftist ideologies, which unfairly compare Burhan Wani to Che Guevera. Not to mention, we don’t suffer from the Leftist syndrome ,  and we do not believe all  the people who follow the Rightist ideology have minority tikkas or minority kebabs for breakfast.

So no, we seriously are not claiming Umar could lift Thor’s hammer. We wanted a discussion, a simple discussion we could draw insights from and that was it.

However, we understand the anxiety of vandals from the left to right, it’s been a long time since God has published a book and a launch could be due anytime soon.

Apparatus used: Human Brain

Scale used: Dr. Dictator’s scale of patriotism

Results: Scores ‘Student’ on the scale i.e. Zero (0).

P.S: The author suggests heavy use of antacid if opinion dyspepsia persists after reading the article.

Author : Tabish Ahmed